The 35th season of “Saturday Night Live” kicked off not on a Saturday, but on a Thursday with the return of the limited prime-time live series, “Weekend Update Thursdays.” Wasn’t it so nice to see Amy Poehler back, albeit temporarily, on the “Weekend Update” anchor desk? Yes. Yes it was. But Seth Meyers is about to go it alone when “SNL” begins in earnest on September 26, 2009, and to get ready for that, we thought we’d take a long look back at the show’s history of fake news anchors, and rank them from worst to first.
Now we couldn’t rank them all, sadly, because NBC does not want us to relive all of their decisions on the Internet, apparently. Although we can watch these clips of Will Ferrell returning to “SNL” back in May (which reairs on September 19). There were also a few years in which the show didn’t want to even call it “Weekend Update” (“SNL Newsbreak?”) and allowed the guest hosts to do the news. Did you know Christopher Guest was an anchor for part of a season? That’s probably the one thing he’s not famous for doing. Same goes for Brian Doyle-Murray. The late Charles Rocket anchored, too, but, alas, his infamous F-bomb didn’t happen at the anchor desk. Which leaves us with these selections as the Top 10 “Weekend Update” Anchors.
10. Colin Quinn (1998-2000)
Famous for? We think it’s being seemingly being flustered almost every week, and unable to get through a Saturday without fumbling at one point or another. We love Colin. Really, we do. But not in this gig. His catchphrase? “I’m Colin Quinn. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” And this is, in fact, the only “SNL” video for Colin that Hulu has up, and it’s him introducing “Dominican Lou” (Tracy Morgan).
9. Brad Hall (1982-1983)
Famous for? Marrying his “SNL” co-star Julia Louis-Dreyfus. We don’t remember if he was bad at the gig or not, but we do recall that he was hosting “Saturday Night Newsbreak” on the night that Buckwheat (as played by Eddie Murphy) got shot.
8. Kevin Nealon (1991-1994)
Famous for? Mr. Subliminal. His catchphrase? “I’m Kevin Nealon, and that’s news to me.” We placed him here on our rankings because when it comes down to it, Nealon’s tenure was known more for the guest characters that he’d introduce (from Adam Sandler, David Spade and Chris Rock) than for his own material. Here, for example, is a clip of Nealon welcoming Sandler’s Cajun Man for commentary:
7. Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon (2000-2004)
Famous for? Putting Tina Fey in front of the camera, for which we’re all now very thankful. Also for Jimmy Fallon’s giggling, and him throwing a pencil at the camera at the end of the segment. You can watch this clip of Fallon getting confronted by Robert Deniro, but we’d rather show you this clip of Fallon getting his comeuppance with a pie in the face. BTW, check out that hair!
6. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (2004-2006)
Famous for? First female duo on SNL’s news desk. We have nothing insulting to say, nor do we have anything more to say, which is why they slide into the sixth position.
5. Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers (2006-2008)
Famous for? “Really?!? with Seth and Amy.” We’re not sure how much we’re fans of Meyers working solo. But with Poehler — who they wisely lured back to the desk for this month’s new “Weekend Update Thursdays” — they have some great chemistry. This new video of bloopers shows how well they feed off of each other:
4. Jane Curtin (1976-1980)
Famous for? Being second. Being a lady. First to have co-anchors (Dan Aykroyd, then Bill Murray), who made “Weekend Update” look as if it were an actual news operation. With Aykyroyd, the duo had a memorably recurring Point/Counterpoint segment with the catchphrase: “Jane, you ignorant slut.” Here’s a classic Point/Counterpoint with Aykroyd:
3. Chevy Chase (1975-76)
Famous for? Being first. Everyone else was influenced by his early decisions in one way or another. His catchphrases? “I’m Chevy Chase and you’re not.” “Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.”
2. Norm MacDonald (1994-1997)
Famous for? Getting fired. His catchphrase? “I’m Norm MacDonald, and now for the fake news.” Want to know why he got fired? Because his brilliant combination of acerbic deadpan was edgy enough to put NBC executives on edge. Which led to him getting fired midseason! Need an example? Well, MacDonald hosted during O.J. Simpson’s murder trial, and repeatedly found new ways to call O.J. a murderer. Here are two guys who were fans, from his very own Norm MacDonald Fan Club (played by David Koechner and Mark McKinney):
1. Dennis Miller (1985-1991)
Famous for? Going off on a rant. Doing what “The Daily Show” did before there ever was such a thing. His catchphrase? “That’s the news, and I am outta here!” It was followed by frantic scribbling and tossing his paper in the air. Miller set the bar for all who followed him, and took his shtick over to HBO for years afterward. For anyone who thinks that Miller has become an unfunny conservative clown in the tank for Bill O’Reilly, just remember that he used to be this really funny guy on “SNL.”
This is a classic clip, which is introduced by Miller from the “Update” desk:
We can’t wait for “Saturday Night Live’s” triumphant return. Check out the original Sarah Palin sketch on “SNL” and Will Ferrell’s greatest hits.
Posted by Sean McCarthy who lives for Saturday night.
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