After a few weeks of summer vacation, Jon Stewart will return with new episodes of “The Daily Show” on September 14. But, what if he didn’t return? He has ruled the roost for mocking the news for a full decade now, and who knows… perhaps the time off got him thinking about what he’ll do next. After all, a real news anchor named Charles Gibson announced his retirement from ABC while Stewart was gone. We started wondering, how would “The Daily Show” go on without Stewart? Whom could we get to fill in and/or replace him?
Well, first we ruled out anyone who already has their own late-night TV show (David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Fallon), those who will soon have their own late-night shows (Wanda Sykes and George Lopez) and that one late-night guy who’s about to splash all over primetime with his own comedy and news program (Jay Leno). Whom does that leave as likely candidates? We came up with these 14 Potential Replacements For Jon Stewart On “The Daily Show.” Will they be able to do what Jon Stewart did in taking down Jim Cramer? Let history be their judge. Roll call, please!
14. Norm MacDonald
MacDonald has experience as a fake newsman reading real jokes about real events as a former “Weekend Update” anchor on “SNL.” He also has shown time and time again that he enjoys taking the piss out of anyone and everyone when he shows up as a guest on Conan or Letterman. Plus, we know he doesn’t have much else going on to conflict with this. And bonus, Comedy Central likely wouldn’t fire him like NBC once did! Here’s MacDonald delivering his own headlines to Conan.
13. Lewis Black
Lewis Black has joked in recent years that the actual headlines coming out of Washington, D.C., are crazier than any jokes he could possibly write. He still follows politics and news, and when it gets his blood boiling, it gets us laughing. Anchoring “The Daily Show” would be a sweet homecoming for Black, since his “Back in Black” segments back in the day on the show helped propel him into the national consciousness. Here is his recent installment from July about Obama’s health care reform plan.
12. Will Durst
Will Durst is a guy even more prone to reading the daily newspaper and paying attention to what’s going on in the world, then opining about it to anyone who will listen. He calls his satire “Political comedy for people who don’t like comedy.” This is a video of him from 2008.
11. Janeane Garofalo
Janeane Garofalo may not have an email account, a Facebook page or a Twitter feed, but she stays connected to the world around her, and in recent years, even more so. Just ask her about anything from world politics to pop culture, and Garofalo will have a joke and a reasoned argument for you. Here’s a brief snippet of Garofalo explaining the universe for you. We’re tilted off of our axis! Straighten us out, please!
10. Marc Maron
A brilliant man with many brilliant ideas running around in his head, Marc Maron has shared his thoughts with the world via “Air America Radio,” and more recently, on a web series called “Break Room Live.” That show is no more, but we believe this short clip of Maron discussing the hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor should prove that Maron fairly easily could step into the anchor’s seat at “The Daily Show.” Roll the clip!
9. Greg Giraldo
Stand-up comedian Greg Giraldo has had his chances at Comedy Central over the years. The network gave him a Friday-night slot a few years back hosting and performing sketches around the debuts of other comedians’ half-hour specials; and before that, they had considered him as a replacement for “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.” Those ventures might not have worked. But that doesn’t mean that Giraldo’s witty social commentary doesn’t have a place on the network. If there were ever an opening, consider Giraldo for it. Here’s how he explained how 9/11 could not derail comedy clubs, or bachelorette parties. Yes. Bachelorette parties.
8. David Cross
Of any comedian you’d imagine in a suit, sitting behind an anchor desk, David Cross is probably near the bottom of that list. We disagree. His stand-up is quite newsy and political. We can recall way back when when Jon Stewart used to think hosting a TV show meant wearing a leather jacket. See, Cross could do a talk show. See!
7. Jimmy Dore
Jimmy Dore, on the other hand, probably owns several fine suits. Also, he has plenty of political jokes. He knows what’s going on. And he knows his way around a broadcast, co-hosting the “Comedy and Everything Else” podcast with Todd Glass. Here’s his take on Christian Scientist nurses.
6. D.L. Hughley
Sure, D.L. Hughley’s attempt to break the news on CNN didn’t go quite as well as anyone hoped, but we place more of the blame for that on the cable news network for thinking it could interrupt 23 hours of news and blowhards for an hour of satire. (Especially when, groan alert, they tried to showcase the humorous side of their own CNN news staff.) But Hughley has talent and knowledge to go with his humor, and if he’s allowed to showcase that as one of the correspondents on “The Jay Leno Show” on NBC, perhaps he’ll find the winning formula that could also work on Comedy Central. Here Hughley took a field trip to California to look at the legalization of marijuana.
5. Dana Gould
Dana Gould was a smart stand-up comedian before he became a writer and producer on “The Simpsons,” which in itself is a smart move, because that’s the kind of career decision that makes someone rich and the rest of us rich with envy. Creating “Simpsons” episodes means knowing how to keep up with the world and skewer it. Here’s a clip of him performing recently on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” He’s a happy go-lucky guy. Why not give him a happy go-lucky job?
4. Pete Dominick
People who have been to see “The Daily Show” or “The Colbert Report” as part of the live studio audience likely have seen Pete Dominick at one point serve as the warm-up comedian for those shows. Getting on camera shouldn’t actually be that huge of a step. After all, Dominick has been hosting news-talk-comedy shows on Sirius Radio for those of you with satellites, and those of you with cable TV may have seen him offering his funny opinions on the news on shows such as “Red Eye.”
3. Lizz Winstead
Lizz Winstead was one of the two creators of “The Daily Show,” and ever since she left, she has been finding new ways to satirize the news and talk about how badly the news business is covering our lives, all with laughs. First she went to Air America. Then she launched a live stage show in New York City called “Shoot the Messenger,” in which she played the clueless anchor of an all-morning morning news show called “Wake Up World.” Here’s footage from a live show she produced during the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minnesota.
2. The Onion News Network
If “The Daily Show” were ever to fall victim to a hostile takeover, we hope it’s because The Onion News Network got the call up from the Internets to the TVs. Here’s one of their latest videos, just in time for NFL season!
1. Craig Kilborn
The original “Daily Show” host doesn’t seem to be doing much these days. So, what’s Craig Kilborn up to, anyhow? 5 Questions! Charlize Theron, you’re on the button.
BONUS: For anyone who thinks it’s unnatural to see any of these 14 dressing up in a suit and acting all serious like an anchor, here’s how Jon Stewart looked on his first day in “The Daily Show” chair, when he interviewed Michael J. Fox on Jan. 11, 1999, and tried to ease viewers in with his “4 Questions” segment.
Do you love news anchors? Check out the 10 Dumbest People Who Deliver Our News and the 10 Hottest Female Fox News Anchors. Jon Stewart isn’t mentioned once on either list.
This post was written by Sean L. McCarthy, who is willing to host “The Daily Show” if need be.
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