You may recognize Christian Finnegan from VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” his more recent appearances on MSNBC’s “Countdown” with Keith Olbermann or his stand-up comedy. His Twitter stream is another place where he has provided us with some extra funny. This week he tweeted the 10 things he thought would be fun to say to a waiter. Don’t blame us if your food smells or tastes like pee!
10. “Can you tell me yesterday’s specials, please? I have a time machine.”
9. “Hey waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Just kidding. That’s my penis.”
8. “I need to speak to the manager. No, the service was fine, but she won’t let me see my kids.”
7. “Can you make that pastrami Phil Collins style, please?”
6. “Can you recommend a Shiraz that would go well with a bottle of sleeping pills?”
5. “Excuse me, is your chef of pure Aryan blood?”
4. “My meal? Not good enough to make me forget that my child was murdered, but thanks.”
3. “Someday there will be reckoning! …Oh and can I get another diet coke?”
2. “That pork loin was so soft and tender! Do you think it came from a gay pig?”
1. “I think I’m going to need a table close to the toilets.”
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