“Take my wife, please.” Stand-up comics have been complaining about their wives ever since the beginning. We’re pretty sure that none of the old timers were talking about gay marriage yet, so we threw in some new bits about that as well.
Here are The 10 Funniest Stand-Up Bits About Marriage, and don’t miss the funniest stand-up bits about sex and the funniest stand up bits about food. Enjoy!
10. BOBBY SLAYTON
Bobby Slayton’s only chance to be macho is on stage. Then he has to go home and listen to his nagging wife.
9. BOB MARLEY
Bob Marley is pretty subservient to his wife, and she just put him on the Atkins diet.
8. WANDA SYKES ON GAY MARRIAGE
Wanda Sykes (who recently got gay married), doesn’t get the debate over gay marriage. A better debate would be if they stopped selling alcohol after 9 pm.
7. JACKIE KASHIAN
Jackie Kashian is married to a video game designer, which she admits is pretty sweet.
6. LOUIS CK ON GAY MARRIAGE
Louis CK breaks down the arguments on gay marriage and explains how it doesn’t affect you.
5. DOUG STANHOPE
Doug Stanhope believes that if marriage didn’t exist, nobody would invent it.
4. WOODY ALLEN
Woody Allen got married a second time. Here, he explains how he met his wife on a blind date.
3. BILL BURR
50% of marriages fail. And married guys seem miserable. So Bill Burr wants to know why people are still getting married.
2. JEFF DUNHAM
Jeff Dunham’s puppet, Walter, has been married for almost 50 years, so he has a different outlook on Jeff, who’s been married for 15 years.
1. CHRIS ROCK ON GAY MARRIAGE
Chris Rock breaks down the sanctity of marriage.
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